While this isn’t a recipe, I hope you enjoy it and that it makes you laugh.
Let’s be very careful this Thanksgiving not to get too caught up in the festivities and forget the finer details of the day.
One must have a Kzayit of turkey past plag on thanksgiving, but should ideally wait for nightfall.
A turkey may be roasted, grilled fried, or cooked in any manor וכל המרבה הרי זה משובח.
One who eats packaged cold cut turkey has fulfilled his obligation בדיעבד, and there are those who say the you can be יוצא with the Tirat Tzvi salami as its contents is majority turkey.
Women are exempt from watching football as it’s considered a מצוות עשה שהזמן גרמה (a positive time dependent mitzvah), but they are obligated in watching the Macy’s Day parade as they too are involved in the parade.
One who forgot to watch football or who was otherwise incapacitated with the necessities of the day may do tashlumin (make up) with NFL replay but must watch the games in the order of their broadcast.
However, one who does tashlumin with NFL shortcuts is called a sinner but has never the less fulfilled his obligation.
One who does not tell over the story of the Pilgrims arrival in Plymouth Rock during the Thanksgiving meal has has not fulfilled his obligation of the day.
Every participant of the meal should see themselves as if they had left England.
We are noheg to act out the interaction between the pilgrims and the Indians. Pilgrim hats are not absolutely necessary והמחמיר תבוא עליו ברכה.
Everyone must be thankful for at least two things but no more than four as being thankful for too many things is considered יוהרה.
One must express what he is thankful for it’s not sufficient just to think of them דברים שבלב אינם דברים.
Pies and cobblers should be the last food consumed on thanksgiving and should be eaten before midnight.
This is originally from Only Simachas.